Self-Portrait as a Thunderhead

by Jacob Butlett


–inspired by “Follow the Rain” by Erik Johansson

I think about scolding you for dropping 
your oar into the river, but I don’t want 
you stranded in my countryside. I descend 
from my roiling mattress of dark blue skies 
to offer help. You tie these ropes around me 
& ask me to yank you down the river, 
beyond these dark green hills & specks 
of yellow daisies among bushes doused 
in rain. My rain. I shower you in your little 
white boat. I won’t apologize for my lightning. 
I won’t apologize for my downpour. Which 
is to say, if you want to know, I won’t 
apologize for being a giver of life to these 
weeds tucked behind briars & saplings. 
I don’t want others to see me as just 
a wet stain on heaven’s gate. I’m full 
of thunderous tears, determined as ever,
so, yes, pull out your umbrella. Watch me 
shepherd you through the night…






Jacob Butlett is a Pushcart Prize-nominated author. In 2023 he received an Honorable Mention for the Academy of American Poets Prize (Graduate Prize). Kelsay Books recently accepted his debut book of poems, Stars Burning Night’s Quiet Rhapsody.

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