by Neila Mezynski
I – Even as if ants go up her arm and nerves whilst packing her/his stuff for the long haul up there to where he loved best, more than her, even if, and those pots pans forks plates spoons cups necessary to make life natural while they wait, he sits there sick and yellow, resemble you kitten, wait, she load up the car and get him and theirs in there just so he can for maybe a few more times water his grass he loves in front of that adobe saguaro prickly pear house golf course in back balls flying every which, duck, she will because she loves him, those nerves short of fuse already lit, her restraint. His.
II – Hers. Now. Voice strong when she was young and strong now still as if she was when he told her only one week and other she believed it. Impatient. She took her home and put her flat in bed no movement except for arms that hug that flat empty body of wait one week. More. She’ll choose a song that no one sang when time was right all lined up in a row of woebegone crocodile skirt and blouse and purse to look good for when she left for good. Are you waiting for the book to be read finished she asked, the new flat waiter said no in the flat voice body. The sun streamed into the flower room whilst she grit her teeth and bared her _ , raised up to meet it in the flat body don’t touch she flinch so as not to have to stay any longer, her love for the other so powerful if she touched her she might have to stay somewhat longer than she could properly bear . She, in a hurry, both.
III – She stayed having both of them and herself to know even if, she was somewhat lacking good grace tolerance and shame, guilt is a wonderful thing making up for knowing those thoughts and words so bad. Finished? Chekhov said we want them to move it along hurry it up, maybe it’s for what we’ll do or be or see when the dream is not, real the permanence of hurry up sits on her chest like Dumbo and all his baggage. Heavy.
“Diary of Mad Girls” is an excerpt from Neila’s forthcoming chapbook Warriors.
Neila Mezynski is author of Glimpses and A Story (2013) from Scrambler Books, two pamphlets (Girls In Trees and forthcoming Tucson Dessert) from Greying Ghost Press, echapbooks from Radioactive Press (Yellow Fringe Dress) and Patasola Press (The Pure Girl), chapbooks from Folded Word Press (Men Who Understand Girls, 2012), Nap Chapbook, (Floaters , 2012), Deadly Chaps Press (Dancers On Rock, (2011), Warriors, 2013) and Mud Luscious Press (At The Beach 2011).